Fragments of a Memory of a Dream

 Good morning, ____________, my muse,

I awoke far too early today, groggy with my back and neck aching slightly and sporting a mild headache. But I also had fragments of a memory of a beautiful dream from some weeks ago. The dream was shaped by both a memory and knowing you. It was brief; yet it’s permanently part of me.

What follows is a bit lengthy, so I'll understand if it takes a bit to read it. The basics are in the title. The pinnacle of the dream was a moment of such a beautiful warmth, so deep and profound, so that weeks later, it’s still beyond my ability to describe. It will probably remain so.

Just know that you are forever part of that moment, that memory of the dream.

———————

You were hosting a party at your house. Nervous about getting lost on my first time there, I left far too early and arrived first. You opened the door and invited me in, with a brilliant smile. In fact, your smile caught me pleasantly off guard. It was as if there was a secret you wanted to eventually share with me, but not just yet.

On entering, I immediately felt at home. Realizing how early I was, I began apologizing. You refused to hear it and ushered me into the living room, saying you needed to finish some preparations and that you'd only be a moment. After some clinking of glassware, you reappeared in the living room, still arranging and adjusting things.

As you went about your tasks I sat on the sofa pretending to watch TV. I was really trying not to steal glances, and failing. And I don't think I fooled you. In fact, I suspect you encouraged it. You kept asking questions here and there. And as I answered, I'd look, trying to meet your gaze with mine, with mine always resting elsewhere, taking in your curves. Perhaps it’s hopeful thinking, but it seemed you intentionally moved to ensure my eyes would end up elsewhere.

My slight embarrassment was evident. But, I’m sure with how long my gaze lingered, my interest was clear. And, you never commented, only smiling sly as we talked. And it seemed, as if this was all part of your plan or the secret your smile betrayed earlier.

When you declared yourself done, now clad in your peach sundress and with a mischievous smile, you draped yourself across me and the sofa. My head was spinning in disbelief and intense excitement. But I played it cool, or so I told myself.

As your legs lay across my lap, my hands lazily danced across your outer thigh. The whole time you kept me grounded to the moment by taking my right hand in yours. We small talk for a time, hand in hand. And during a brief lull, you wiggled your hips slightly, to get my attention. I looked and our eyes met. But, something was different this time.

I was captivated by the look in your eyes and you by mine. So, I gently took your face in my right hand. You nuzzled into it slightly, gently grabbing my right arm as you did, ensuring my hand would remain in place, your eyes never leaving mine. Despite being the first time, it felt as if we'd done this a thousand times before.

We were transfixed for what felt like an eternity. And then, as if some alarm bell sounded, we both became acutely aware that we'd been staring at each other for a bit. We both blushed and smiled. I maintained my gaze. You broke yours turning your face into my hand, your lips brushing across my palm, while exhaling. It wasn’t a kiss, and yet it was more exhilarating.

The warmth of your breath filled my my soul with a sensation I can only describe as divinely beautiful and intensely erotic. I've never felt anything like it before. It filled me with sensations I've never known before and an intense longing stronger than anything. (Here it is weeks and later the memories still bringing a shiver to my spine and a tear to my eye.)

And just as the dream hit that moment, reality woke me – harshly. And I'll admit it; I was hooked on that moment. For an hour, I tried to return to it, to feel that at least once more. But time marched on and I followed. I had to.

While, it may sound sad that such a beautiful moment got interrupted – it certainly hurt like hell in the moment – I'm happy to have had it. After all, I got to feel a beautiful warmth so deep and profound, so much so that it's beyond my ability to describe, and probably will be, forever.

And while I did try to shove the memory away, at first, knowing you has kept this memory of kindness, warmth, and futures unwritten alive and breathing, a gift I didn't realize you'd given, one you couldn’t know you had given, until I wrote this.

So, no matter what the future holds, I'll always have these fragments of a memory and of a dream of you.

Yours, always and forever,

– ________________